


you and I, blurred lines

by leov66



Series: your heart's a mess [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Drunk Texting, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Texting, but like the otayuri Is There so yeah, chris is the best friend, he cares abt yura so. much., main focus on viktuuri, mentions of depression, phichit is the best wingman tbh, t for swearing i guess, the boys being sad, those characters are like the main ones, yuuri loves yuris cat too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 21:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10998906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leov66/pseuds/leov66
Summary: "He must be nice, he's too pretty to be an asshole. I'll tell you on Wednesday." Phichit seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much, as he always did whenever his friend went on his famous rants about the Russian model's...well, everything.aka an au where Phichit's a makeup artist, Viktor's a world-famous model and Yuuri's a ballet dancer.





	1. wherever i go, there's a shadow of you

text message 3:15 pm

hamster boy: PICK UP THE GODDAMN PHONE KATSUKI I KNOW YOURE THERE

hamster boy: ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS OF UR LIFE

hamster boy: FIVE MINUTES AND THEN IM GONNA CUT OUR FRIENDSHIP BRACELET OFF DO YOU UNDERSTAND

hamster boy: YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

5:30 pm

the prince of my heart: Oh sorry my phone was on mute

 

Phichit Chulanont had always dreamed big. Despite all the difficulties, the glares he received, the words of disapproval from so many people, he had known that he would one day become a makeup artist. At the humble age of six years he begun collecting and trying to put on cosmetics and at twenty-two, with a group of supportive friends and a collection of more brushes, palettes, foundations and liquid lipsticks that Yuuri and he could possibly count, he did feel quite proud of himself.

However, being _fucking Viktor Nikiforov_ 's makeup artist really was a big thing. Not that he felt too shy or self-conscious to accept such an offer, mind you, but it was enough to make his eyes water just a teeny little bit. And of course did his lovely friend have to be busy when he needed to talk about it. Because that's life and karma, it lifts you up so it can kick and push and send you to the ground wih no hope whatsoever-

 

"Honestly, what's more important than _me_?", he whined on the phone when his prayers were finally answered. "Like, if I died, you wouldn't have even known because your phone was on fucking mute. I can't believe you of all people betrayed me like this."

"You know, I've got a life and a job, Mr. I'm-Extra-And-I-Know-It. You could've called Guang and have him give me the phone, too," Yuuri deadpanned because of course he did, he's a sarcastic asshole that ignores his very important phone calls. "What's the deal, then?"

"Remember that time a few months ago when I was all busy with meetings and portfolios and all that jazz?" He tried to keep his voice flat and professional, but it's hard when you're literally bubbling with excitement.

"Maybe, sorta. Go on."

"I was all secretive about it, right? Like, you know, I didn't really tell you what it all was about."

"So?" Yuuri seemed a bit tired already, maybe he'd had a tough practice or something.

"It was Stammi Vicino and it was supposed to just be a 'you know, maybe one day when there's a possibility' and stuff but they called me today and I got in and I'm gonna be Viktor Nikiforov's makeup artist because his previous one resigned and my falsies are kinda falling off because I might've cried a little bit and _oh my god I think I've died and this is heaven..._ " He said all of that in less than ten seconds and his voice kinda cracked, so there was all his composure again.

 

It took Yuuri a short while to process all the information, but when he spoke, he sounded so full of joy and pride it was almost impossible.

"Oh my God, Phichit, I'm so proud of you, this is incredible! I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone earlier! Hurry up, Yuri, we're gonna miss the train and I have to buy some champagne on my way!"

The Russian boy snarled something in the background, angry as always, and Phichit couldn't help but laugh at his friend's excitement. "I'll order some Chinese while we're at it, you must be starving since you left your lunch at the kitchen table, dumbass."

"I was busy, okay?" Yuuri sneered with amusement. "Give me half an hour tops and we'll be celebrating."

 

snapchat 5:53 pm

pointe bae sent a snap!

pointe bae: which one should i buy

pointe bae: hurry up ive got 7 minutes to buy the wine and leave

6:04 pm

eyeliner daddy took a screenshot!

eyeliner daddy: hmm. idk

pointe bae: i hate you. also i bought both

eyeliner daddy: LMAO dont u have practice tomorrow

 

 

They got totally wasted that evening and watched every single interview Viktor Nikiforov had ever done and every show he had walked in. It's not like Yuuri or Phichit didn't know them all already but it seemed like a wonderful idea. Yuuri also forced the Thai to call his parents and spill the news and, despite the late hour, he received a virtual hug and big congratulations. They danced and sung a little bit, too, because appparently the more you drink, the better you get at things you don't really do that often.

 

"You think he's nice?" Yuuri managed to say in-between giggles. His eyes were glistening and his search history of the last few hours was 'Viktor Nikiforov shirtless' and 'is Viktor Nikiforov single', or rather something along the lines of 'bikotr no shirt' and 'vikrot kinirov signle or no'. He'd always idolised Viktor, even despite knowing that he would never meet him in person; however, that didn't mean he wasn't proud of Phichit. _See how succesful he his, look at how much he's achieved, what about you and your life_ , a tiny voice at the back of his head kept telling him, but he was drunk enough to ignore it. That night was to be happy, not full of self-doubt and bad thoughts.

"He must be nice, he's too pretty to be an asshole. I'll tell you on Wednesday." Phichit seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much, as he always did whenever his friend went on his famous rants about the Russian model's...well, everything.

"Don't you fucking dare forget, or else I'll...I don't know, I'll probably cry a little bit," Yuuri tried to be serious but ended the sentence in a kind of sad tone.

 

At some point Phichit realised how late it already was and forced both himself and his friend to the bathroom to 'at least brush your teeth, it's for the best, you'll thank me tomorrow'. _He really can be a mom friend when he tries_ , Yuuri realized for yet another time. He lay in bed for a long time after that, with his heart pounding and his mind filled with images of Viktor. He imagined what it would be like to meet him, to see that beautiful face, no longer just on photos in magazines but in real life.

 

text message 2:28 am

the prince of my heart: phichit

the prince of my heart: you think you can be in love with someone who doesnt even know you?

 

 

skype 4:50 am

vitas: cant sleep again, help

vitas: i know youre online

vitas: ive got a shoot in 3 hrs and 10 mins what do i do to sleep for 10 hrs in 2 hrs

vitas: i dont wanna wake makka up

vitas: chrissss

7:30 am

ass man: i fell asleep with my computer open, i'm sorry

ass man: did you sleep?

vitas: no

vitas: i watched the black swan again

vitas: and i bought makka a cool bowl that says 'bork'

ass man: the great Viktor Nikiforov, everybody.

vitas: hey dont go all proper grammar on me!!!

vitas: ttyl yakovs calling

 

Eight in the morning really wasn't Viktor's favourite part of the day. Especially when he had to put on that fake, cheery smile he had grown to dislike. The smoke from his cigarette felt familiar in his lungs, an old sensation that had always helped him unwind from all the stress.

 

"You ready, pretty boy? We ain't got much time," the photographer snarled and threw him a glance Viktor knew all too well. _I wonder if he knows he's gay_ , he thought but didn't say out loud. He'd always had an eye for those things. It helped boost his career, too, in the early days, but that he had left behind, it was all over, though he had to tell it to himself from time to time.

 

The leather pants felt the tiniest bit too tight and he instantly regretted the night out with Chris five days before. It seemed like a good idea at the time but he could still feel the acid clawing at his throat and the sweat at the nape of his neck and down his back. He used to consider himself a party animal but as the years went on and on, reading a book, walking his dog in peace or just spending some time for himself without counting down hours had become a luxury he could no longer afford. All his days were filled to the brim and the nights he spent laying awake and thinking about everything or nothing, his mind always either racing or empty.

 

"I'm ready, just got lost in thoughts", he replied before plastering on his signature grin again. The shoot went smoothly as always and the more Viktor stripped, the more intense the photographer's stare became. Not that it was a nude one, though he did like one from time to time, but apparently a bit (alright, that was not a bit, that shirt really was see-through) of his naked body was enough to give him a hard-on. _Not that he was staring, of course._

 

He got a call from Yakov around noon. Judging by the tone of his voice, he was satisfied with himself.

"Vitya, remember Georgi's taking a break and it starts tomorrow?"

"Of course not!" He couldn't help but smile at his own forgetfulness. "What's the deal with it? You have a sub already?"

"Who do you think I am, young man? If I left anything for you to plan on your own, you'd end up naked and homeless!"

 

Viktor honestly wished he could disagree.

 

"Who's he? Or she? Do I know them?" He'd always loved meeting new people, as boring as it might seem. No expectations, no particular opinions about him, every person was like a fresh start of sorts.

"The name is...wait, I'll check...I SAID, GIVE ME THE DAMN DOCUMENTS OR YOU MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE RIGHT NOW, MR. I-DON'T-CARE-WHAT-YOUR-NAME-IS! Phichit Chulanont. You're meeting him on Wednesday," he replied in an once again cold and proffesional tone after that sudden outburst of anger. Viktor was used to it, of course, but it never failed to surprise him at the same time.

He stared at his nails and drifted off for a second before mumbling something like "yes, yes, I'll be there."

"And Vitya?" This time, Yakov sounded...a bit concerned? "Get some rest, you probably didn't sleep last night." And just like that, he hung up.

 

On his way home, he leaned on the cab's window and stared at the streets. He let his mind wander and only paid attention to the raindrops bumping on the car with a slow yet stable rythm. A new makeup artist was an anomaly in his anything-but-unplanned reality and the he really was excited about it, even though he didn't exactly look like the embodiment of happiness. All he needed was a strong coffee or a six-hour nap; actually, the latter appeared as a much better option. By the time he'd finished the shoot, Yakov had sent him the schedule for the rest of the week and he knew he could easily sleep for about fourteen hours before having to do anything that required basic communication skills.

Despite his attempts, it was after four hours that he could actually get some rest as Makkachin whined until she got him to walk her for one hell of a long time and Yakov called him twice, too, though he sounded irritated that Viktor was on his phone instead of sleeping. Lying in his bed, he once again let himself think about everything and anything but that time his head felt empty and his body numb. Half-mindedly, he reached for his cigarettes and lighter. His window was open and the entire room smelled of rain. It never ocurred to him before how sad a smell it was, as if the storm had washed all his feelings off of him and he was left with nothing. He inhaled the smoke in deeply, hoping it would fill him up again and take that ache in his head and bones away.

_What a sad man he was at times._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter name from onerepublic's 'wherever i go'
> 
> if you dont know who the fuck vitas is, google him. n o w.


	2. trying to remember what it's like to have a heartbeat

The following morning both Yuuri and Phichit woke up with a raging hangover but also a vague memory of the Japanese drunk-dialling Yuri Plisetsky to ask him if his fridge was running and the Thai recording the whole thing, including the boy's hilarious reaction to being stirred from his precious sleep to be told a stupid pun at almost two in the morning. They also got a series of texts from him, some of which made Yuuri spit out his toothpaste from laughing too hard.

"I should thank you, you know? You'd actually set the alarm clock despite being drunk as a skunk," he called out from the bathroom. Phichit was busy trying to make himself breakfast, or at least pretending that he was trying, which was still better than him as he gave up eating anything alltogether. _I'll exercise it away, I'll exercise it away_ , he repeated in his mind whilst also dying inside from the pounding headache.

"I know, I'm great, right? Don't forget your shoes, they're in the living room since you wanted to show me something last night."

Yuuri buried his face in his hands. Why did he have to have such a low tolerance? "What 'something' are you talking about? On a scale of one to drinking bleach from a sippy cup, how bad was it?"

Phichit snorted, threw his fork in no particular direction and sat down on the chair. "I'd say staying in for a week but then again, I know you, so my scale is obviously different. Let's say pointe shoes and twerking don't go together for a reason."

"I hate you sometimes. I'll buy you a real-life hamsterball and put you in there permanently when I get my paycheck." With his training clothes and three bottles of water in his bag, he felt ready to face the day. However, getting a shit ton of texts from Yuri and being told to hurry up even more wasn't his preferred activity at such an ungodly hour.

text message 7:12 am

furieux: hurry the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

furieux: i dont wanna take the train alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

furieux: i swear to god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:18 am

furieux: DONT IGNORE ME

furieux: youre so gonna get rekt at practice today

furieux: i cant believe youre like this

katsudon: Well i cant belive you just used the words 'get rekt' in an adult context

furieux: youre not in the position to drag me so fuck off

furieux: i brought you some aspirin btw

katsudon: Aw thanks

 

"Babysit my cat tonight," Yuri practically demanded before Yuuri even got a chance to say hi or something. "I've got a dumb family dinner or some shit and I don't wanna leave her alone."

"It's cute that you care about her more than any other human you know," Yuuri teased.

"Obviously, all of you suck," the boy replied without second thoughts. It was true, though, Potya was on both his home- and lockscreen walpapers and roughly eighty percent of photos he kept on his phone.

"Is it with that annoying cousin of yours?"

"Duh, he's the one paying for the whole thing. Also, the train's leaving in thirty seconds, get ready for some serious cardio."

 

Despite his rather recluse-ish demeanor and harsh words, Yuuri knew he did like him and the people around him in general. He knew Yuri was talented, determined and an utter asshole at times, but after some time he got used to his company and constant rants about anything and everything. Eventually, he started to notice the smaller things, too, like how he sat on public transportation, shoulders always hunched and his stare on the ground, how he almost never looked anyone in the eye, how defensive he got whenever it came to his skills of any sort, how much he disliked eating in public places.

They almost missed practice ( _you're on time or you can go home_ , that's what Lilia always said) but luckily a hangover didn't make all of Yuuri's hard-earned stamina go away so, luckily, they arrived exactly at eight and promptly avoided Lilia's glare of annoyance.

It was around ten that he realised how dumb he had been the previous evening. The water stopped helping, he was running low on Yuri's aspirin and all he needed was a fucking break. It felt like the adult equivalent of getting wasted and going to a 7 am class in college except ten times worse since he had to do physical training instead of just pretending to be listening.

 

text message 10:39 am

the prince of my heart: I fucking hate you Phichit

the prince of my heart: I just wanna crawl into a hole and die peacefully

the prince of my heart: Btw im coming home late i need to pick Potya up from Yuris flat

11:20 am

hamster boy: okay?? im going out w leo at 5, ill leave her bowl somewhere in the kitchen

hamster boy: i was napping sorry for not replying earlier

 

Viktor wasn't in his best shape on that Tuesday morning (well, it was almost noon so it wasn't exactly a morning) and listening to Yakov telling him the same things over and over with that monotonous voice didn't help him that much. All he wanted was to cancel plans for an interview or two, nothing new, right?

 

"Yes, yes, I'll sleep more, I promise I'll try. Now can you cancel it or not?"

"You and I know you're not sick and I see no reason why I should lie to them. You're only postponing all of it and you're gonna regret it."

"Tell me something I don't know", Viktor murmured more to himself than his agent.

Yakov sighed and probably rubbed his temples. "This is the last time," he said. "I still think you should get some help, Vitya."

"Sure thing, remind me when I have some spare time." He couldn't help but smile, they had been going over the issue for a few months. After a few more questions about his general wellbeing and possible plans, the other man hung up and Viktor was left with thirthy-eight hours of lovely, blissful nothing.

"Come here, Makka, my sweet girl, I've missed spending so much time with you, dear," he cooned at his dog which seemed to be handling the whole situation with peace and let him pet her while he talked about how much she mattered to him.

 

text message 11:15 am

i lvoe cats: dont forget about the dinner fucker

 

Of course he forgot. Plus, he opened the text more than an hour later. He wondered if Yuri was actually mad at him that time.

 

12:48 am

$430 gucci shades: oh!! now i remember, thanks yura

2:17 pm

i lvoe cats: dont fucking call me that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

$430 gucci shades: i know you love me

i lvoe cats: e w

$430 gucci shades: do you want me to pick you up

$430 gucci shades: at i don't know

$430 gucci shades: half past five?

i lvoe cats: no

i lvoe cats: i dont wanna spend any more time with you than its necessary

i lvoe cats: ill just take the train or call beka

$430 gucci shades: okay! dress well, you don't want to embarass me, right?

$430 gucci shades: just, please, don't wear leopard print again

$430 gucci shades: like, ever

i lvoe cats: fuck you ill wear it

i lvoe cats: in fact, ill buy myself a leopard print tie and wear it to your funeral

i lvoe cats: beka says i shouldnt but, sadly, i dont give a fuck

3:15 pm

i lvoe cats: ok slight change of plans

i lvoe cats: im coming over at half past five

i lvoe cats: be ready

 

Sometimes Viktor wondered to himself if he would ever stop being so forgetful, but it didn't really seem like it, so he gave up eventually. He owned more notebooks and calendars than a medium-sized shop and that only made him lose track of all the things he wrote down in different ones. Situations like that only made it more prominent that there were some areas of adulthood he just couldn't comprehend despite being almost 29 years old. He had two hours to get himself all pretty and confident for his family, which meant goodbye, warm sheets, Makkachin, that one sweater that's stretched out just right and soft, French music with lyrics he didn't exactly understand word-by-word (damn you, Chris, for never teaching him proper French but only the swearwords and sex-related ones) and welcome, shower, contour kit and that one ugly shirt his mother loved. Getting ready had become his natural routine, a thing he could do without paying much attention to it and, as satisfying as it was, slowly, he was getting bored of it, too.

 

snapchat 2:26 pm

pointe bae sent a snap!

pointe bae: Look at that dog omg

eyeliner daddy: are those background sounds yuri and otabek making out

pointe bae: Oh my god phichit

pointe bae: Why are you like this

eyeliner daddy: dont drag me i just couldnt help myself

eyeliner daddy: tell them i said hi tho

pointe bae: I cant with you sometimes

 

Yuuri and Yuri (and Otabek, too, but he was as silent as ever) got off the train at the right station (contrary to popular belief, it wasn't that easy, especially if you were anxious about ninety different things at the same time) and about twenty minutes later he had Potya's cute carrier in his arms and a shit ton of cat toys in his pockets.

 

"Take good care of her," Yuri murmured after a short and hesitant hug. That boy had never been good at expressing his emotions and it could easily mean something like 'thank you so much, i owe you my life, my dear friend'. Okay, maybe not exactly like that but a thank you could possibly have been hidden somewhere. He said goodbye to Otabek and went back to the train station. Since Phichit was to leave at five, he probably wouldn't be back untill ten, maybe eleven and that meant an evening to himself and the Thai's hamsters and Potya.

By the time he got into the apartment, he'd already decided on the movie and picked up all three of Phichit's Very Important Phone Calls, which included telling him not to wear pink eyeliner, threating to cut holes in his underwear if he didn't take out the trash before he left and allowing him to borrow that one crop top he bought at Forever 21 as a joke but ended up loving like a firstborn.

 

"I'm just telling you that if you end up with guac on it, I'm gonna have Yuri stab you with a Q-tip and laugh while you bleed out."

"Okay, mom, I promise I'll be careful with it." He could physically feel his friend roll his eyes.

"I'm not messing around, Phichit," he managed to say without cracking a smile. "Shit, I forgot to buy contact solution, would you grab some on your way back? I'll buy you a coffee on Coffee Sunday."

"Text me or I'll forget," he heard in return.

 

Potya handled the whole thing just fine after she found her all-time favourite spot at their flat, which was a pile of Phichit's clothes he forgot to put in the laundry bag, and ate her food in her favourite pink bowl. He stared at her while doing his stretches on the floor and wondered what his friends were doing. _Probably something interesting with other people while you're just over here doing nothing and wasting time_ , his internal voice suggested, but years of therapy proved themselves worth it as he concentrated on his breathing and his surroundings. He wouldn't let bad thoughts ruin the day, no, he was stronger than that.

 

text message 5:23 pm

i lvoe cats: i hope youre not sleeping

i lvoe cats: im omw

$430 gucci shades: i'm not

$430 gucci shades: you can come over in 10 minutes maybe

 

The truth was he was not ready at all. He did get dressed and did his makeup, too, but he was still lacking the spirit for spending a few hours with his relatives and talking about his love life (which sucked) and future plans and other things like that. Planning things thoroughly wasn't exactly his biggest virtue. Makkachin was playing with a ball on the couch and he didn't have the heart to tell her to stop so that the leather wouldn't be ruined. He sighed and kept mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. It was about time that he posted a new photo, wasn't it?

 

"What do you think, Makka? You ready for a photoshoot?" He smiled at his dog, which, yet again, seemed to be enjoying herself too much to give a damn about him.

"I'M GOING IN, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT NAKED," Yuri shouted before unlocking the door because, apparently, he had a spare key and Viktor had already forgotten about that, too. He lifted his head up from the armchair he was sitting in and smiled.

"You're late, Yura."

"Thanks, I didn't wanna come," the boy replied and sat down near Makkachin. He unlocked his phone with one hand and started to pet her with the other.

"Nice hickies, I'm sure my mother will love it," Viktor laughed. His shirt (luckily, it wasn't leopard print) seemed pretty see-through and he could see the bite marks from across the room.

Yuri cursed under his nose. "You've got any foundation?"

"Who do you think I am? A cave troll? It's in the bathroom." Somewhere in the bathroom surely, hidden between countless hair products, a generous amount of brushes, a straightener and a few towels. "You can take something if you wanna."

"It's nice that you get all the free shit sometimes." And off he went, murmuring something about 'shitty boyfriends that think they're cool and shit'.

 

It might have taken them a bit too long before they were on their actual way to the restaurant, but it wasn't like anybody was surprised that they came late. After a few minutes of hugs, greetings and awkward small talk they got their seating arrangement figured out and got down to ordering the actual food. Viktor wasn't convinced that such a way was the best one to spend an evening but he knew how much those meetings mattered to his family. Theirs wasn't a big one, just him, Yuri, his mother (Yuri's aunt) and grandparents and Yuri's grandfather. They had all moved to America except for Grandfather Nikolai who still lived in St Petersburg, despite both boys' attempts to persuade him to leave Russia.

 

"So, Vitenka, how's your private life? When will you get a girlfriend? It's about time you settled down, my boy," his mother said almost immediately after they sat down and Viktor couldn't help but tense up. There was The Thing again. Not being out was an issue in itself and making weird explanations for every single picture the paparazzi have ever snapped of him and, well, every person he'd ever tried to date didn't make that easier.

"I'm not that old, Mama, I still have time," he laughed it off. The fact that they were all speaking Russian didn't help at being dishonest with himself. He also hated to admit that as the years went by, he'd slowly begun to forget all the small words he didn't use in normal conversations with his relatives. It was as if he'd only ever spoken English and it only made him even more detached from his family.

 

A few (very long) hours later, he was back in his car with Yuri pretending he wasn't falling asleep. The nine-year difference might have made him act like more like a parent than a cool, older cousin sometimes, but it was obvious that the boy was overworking himself. Nothing new, he had always done that, but that time he wasn't even trying to cover it up.

 

"We're picking Potya up, don't forget about her," Yuri yawned. "She's at Yuuri's, turn left at the second crossing. The number's 3B I think."

"Another Yuri? Cute, you have more friends that you share a name with?" Viktor smirked and looked at him in the car mirror.

"Shut the fuck up, it's a just a coincidence. It's too late for me to listen to your bullshit, anyway, at least speak Russian so I don't have to think."

 

By the time they had pulled up in front of a small apartment complex, Yuri had fallen asleep, cuddled up in the backseat with...Chris' jacket or something like this.

"3B, 3B, 3B, don't forget," he murmured to himself so that he wouldn't forget. "Don't drive away when I'm gone, okay?"

 

He kept on repeating the apartment number in his head but it was hard to find the correct one when it was dark as shit. He could only guess it was the right one when he rung the doorbell and put on the best Mr.-Steal-Your-Man smile he could master at such an ungodly hour (it was around ten but he could've been sleeping if it was a normal free evening).

 

"I swear, I thought you'd never come- oh, I'm so sorry, I thought you...shit, I'm-"

 

For a split second, Viktor couldn't breathe.

 

"N-no, it's okay, I'm Yura's cousin, he fell asleep and I..."

 

He'd never felt that speechless before. It was like this charming stranger with his floral crop top and messy hair and _god those eyes_ made all his systems stop working.

 

"Oh, okay, so...you can...come in, I guess? I'll put her in the carrier and it might take a minute so I could make you some coffee maybe?" Impressive how he said the entire sentence without pausing to take a breath.

"Alright, if that's...I mean if you're...if you don't mind, yeah."

"You don't have to take off your shoes, it's all messy anyway. Potya, my little girl, where are you? It's time to go home!"

 

Viktor sat by the kitchen table and watched Yuuri (that was the name, right?) make two cups of coffee and chase his cousin's cat at the same time, which only lead to the conclusion that he was, in fact, not human but a literal angel. Soft, classical music was playing in the background and some movie's end credits were rolling on a laptop. At first, he didn't even bother with small talk since 1) he was tired and 2) he didn't want to disturb the angel. Plus, he was more than fine with admiring him in silence.

After a few minutes Potya was in the carrier and he and the angel were sitting on the same couch with their coffee, though (to Viktor's utter disappointment) not really touching.

"I'm Viktor, by the way. And...you're Yuuuri, right?"

The angel - Yuuri - held back a laugh. "Yes, that's me. I know who you are, though, everybody does."

"Oh...oh, yeah. That's true. I didn't mean to sound arrogant or anything..."

"No, it's okay, really."

It felt equally awkward and comforting. No weird questions, no photo requests - though he did kind of want to snap a picture of Yuuri to have as a sweet memory -, it was almost as if they had known each other before but neither could recall when.

"So, Yuuuri, would you mind telling me something about yourself? We've got so much in common already, we both know Yuri," he smiled and felt a slight pang in his heart when he saw the angel smile back.

"What can I say...I'm a ballet dancer, that's how I met him. I moved here from Japan and I used to have a dog."

"A dog? What kind of dog?" By then, Viktor was sure he was dreaming. Handsome, can pull off a crop top better than most models he knew _and he had a dog_? Unrealistic.

The angel seemed...embarassed? "A poodle." He could swear there was a blush on his cheeks.

"No way, I've got a puddle, too! Her name is Makkachin and I love her so much!"

"Really? That's amazing!"

 

Potya meowed pitifully at the same time as Viktor's phone begun to blow up with notifications.

 

text message 10:46 pm

i lvoe cats: are u lost

i lvoe cats: where are u

i lvoe cats: viktor i swear to god

i lvoe cats: did i even tell you the number

i lvoe cats: v i k t o r

 

Never before had Viktor been so indirectly pissed off at Yuri.

 

"I'm so sorry, Yuri woke up and I think I should go," he said with about as much enthusiasm as if he was talking about eating brussels sprout. "I'll see you around, I promise."

"No, no, you don't have to be sorry, it's getting late anyway. Tell Yuri I said hi."

 

Viktor drank the rest of his coffee, took Potya's carrier and walked to the door.

 

"Oh, and Viktor?"

 

He turned around instantly.

 

"It was really nice to meet you," the angel - Yuuri - smiled for the last time. "Likewise. I really hope we'll meet again."

  

When he was back in the car with the cat, Yuri was kind of angry.

 

"I swear, you've been there for, like, thirty minutes. What the fuck?"

 

Viktor just shrugged and kept on driving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from harry styles' 'two ghosts'
> 
>  
> 
> as always, tell me what you think!!!! and if youve got any idea about the plot, just talk to me on my tumblr @bikiforov!!!!! im always down for suggestions:) 
> 
>  
> 
> anyways have a great day/evening and stay hydrated!!!!


	3. a dumb screenshot of youth

Phichit came back around thirty minutes later, kinda tipsy but enough to be able to open the door properly. It was a good thing, because Yuuri was still sitting on the couch, not having moved an inch since Viktor left. He didn't have the words to describe what had just happened, so he didn't even try.

"Two cups at this hour? Somethin' wrong?" Phichit said, trying to sound concerned but mainly he was just confused.

 

Two cups? Oh, Viktor had left his at the coffee table. Obviously. Yuuri barely shrugged at the memory. It felt too surreal.

 

"Wanna be alone?" his friend suggested from the kitchen.

"I-I guess," he managed to choke out. He needed time to think about the whole thing. It felt like something between a dream come true and a literal nightmare. Was Viktor really Yuri's cousin? How come the boy never even mentioned it? Alright, that wasn't such an unbelievable thing, he wasn't exactly the one to go on ranting about himself, especially his family.

"I'm tired and I'll probably go to sleep soon, but if something's up, wake me up, okay?" That time, Phichit really sounded concerned.

"What? Yeah, sure, okay," he mumbled. To be entirely honest, he didn't even feel anything anymore. Maybe it was all a joke? It must've been a joke. Viktor freaking Nikiforov didn't just come over for coffee with a friend of his _supposed cousin_ 's, right? Maybe it wasn't the same Viktor Nikiforov. Maybe he was asleep and the whole thing was just a fucked up dream, though Potya's carrier really wasn't there anymore...

 

Or maybe he was just overthinking and Viktor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisesky's cousin really came over to pick his cat up and have a little chat?

Everything was too much for him. All he wanted to do was lay down and sleep but he decided that maybe running a warm bath would help settle his nerves. Phichit loved Lush bath bombs and as a result, they always had around five somewhere in the bathroom. That time, he chose a peppermint one, just to dwell on the memories of his mother serving tea for family and guests. He missed the quiet town of Hasetsu, he missed the morning walks by the shore and the sound of sweet waves. He left Japan to study and dance and both things he did, but it didn't help with homesickness at all. (He'd turned off the lights in the bathroom, just to know he wouldn't be distracted by anything.) He hadn't been home for a long time, certainly too long. Maybe after the season was over, he'd return for at least a few days? It was about time he did. He missed his family, his sister's teasing, his father's drunken antics, his mother's gentle eyes and embraces. He missed Vicchan too, their lovely, lovely family dog that had died almost a year before. (When he thought about it, he only remembered not feeling anything at all and suddenly feeling everything too much, Lilia's worried glances and a fucked up season, he was always afraid they'd let him go, even more than the usual. You could say he was a mess.) Some memories it was difficult to look back at, trying too much, feeling too much, thinking too much, being too disappointed too often. Every person made mistakes but not everyone made as many as he did.

Surprisingly, he thought about Viktor. The whole situation made him very, very confused, but on top of that he couldn't shake off the feeling he had with him, as though they had met before but neither remembered when. It was weird but also...very deep in the spiritual sense. Yuuri wasn't the most religious person, but he did believe that the soul was something more eternal than a body. He briefly thought that maybe the universe wanted them to meet yet again in such a form? Whatever had happened, and he didn't exactly understand it, had happened and he had to come to terms with the fact that he had met his lifelong idol, who, by the way, his best friend was supposed to start to work for the very next day.

 

skype 11:49 pm

vitas: chris

vitas: can you fall in love in 0.000005s

ass man: i guess...

ass man: WAIT

ass man: VIKTOR DID YOU MEET SOMEONE?

ass man: VIKTOR DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING

vitas: ok im back yura wanted another blanket

vitas: yeah

vitas: he was so beautiful im surprised i didnt cry

vitas: his e y e s

vitas: his c r o p t o p

ass man: you're so gay, incredible

ass man: do you even know his name?

vitas: yuuri

ass man: oh, nice

ass man: wait.

ass man: you don't mean Yuuri Katsuki, right?

ass man: viktor

ass man is calling...

 

"Do you even know who he is?" Chris said before Viktor even had a chance to say 'hi' or something. He was in his (silk, because obviously his friend was as bourgeoisie as one could get) pyjamas already and he had a face mask on. It looked kinda cute on him, it reminded him that they needed to hang out and have a spa night again. They had fun the last time, drinking more wine than they probably should have, talking shit about every single person in the industry, singing and dancing, buying stupid things online and doing each others' nails. There was no talk of clenched throats, rapid heartbeats and the empty feelings in the chests and Viktor really did feel alive.

"He said he's a ballet dancer. He was so graceful and...oh my god, I think I'm in love," Viktor said very quietly. His head felt dizzy and he was probably smiling to himself.

"Yuuri Katsuki, my dear, lost friend, is one of Lilia Baranovskaya's top dancers. Katsuki, your Yuri, Guang-Hong Ji, Sara and Michele Crispino, they're ballet elite."

"No wonder he moved like an angel...you think I can just go to Lilia's studio and say hi?" It there was something that needed to be known about Viktor, it was that he was nothing short of dedicated to get exactly what he wanted and ambitious.

Chris shrugged. "You know, I wouldn't exactly say that it's the best idea. Maybe wait a while? It's not normal that world-famous models...wait, what did you even do to meet him?"

"Yura fell asleep in the car and I came to the apartment to get his cat and he was standing there with that _messy hair and in a floral crop top and-_ "

"Get some water or something, I can physically feel your thirst through the screen," his friend laughed.

"Don't drag me like that, I can't help it! He was too cute, okay?"

 

The conversation went on for more than an hour afterwards, with Viktor occasionally mentioning how gorgeus/ethereal/beautiful Yuuri was and Chris laughing at him. It was getting late but given his sleeping problems, it wasn't such a big thing anyway. However, what caught the Russian's attention was a certain thing on his friend's ring finger. He thought he might've seen said thing in a photo snapped a few days that he found online (hey, good friends check each others' photos to either laugh at or save them), but it shocked him nevertheless.

 

"Honesty hour!" Viktor grinned. "Why didn't you tell me you're _fucking engaged_ , you filthy hoe?"

"I've been waiting for you to notice, thanks for asking. It's been a few a few weeks now, but I have to take it off most of the time for, you know, keeping up the hoe status," Chris certainly seemed proud of himself.

"That's so romantic! Tell Matt I said it's about damn time. I'll be your best man, right? You wouldn't betray me like that, I've been getting dirt on you for the last eleven years."

 

Around one in the morning, Chris was close to falling asleep, so they said their goodbyes and promised each other a night out as soon as possible. Viktor then checked up on Yuri, who, luckily, was sleeping soundly, his young, almost childlike face finally relaxed instead of angry and scrunched up. Leaning on the doorframe, he certainly felt like a parent of sorts but he didn't even mind it. Their relationship with their relatives was complicated as it was, it didn't hurt to guide the boy through whatever he was going through at that moment. It didn't feel good to admit, but mental issues ran in the family and the stress they exposed themselves to every day didn't help at all. He didn't ever wish Yuri to one day feel what he did, to deal with the emptiness and sadness.

Oh, how ironic it was of him to treat his younger cousin like that and yet not ever want to have children. The mere thought made him feel bad - to be so responsible for another human, to have the ability to completely fuck them up with unsolved issues and a mentality of a child. The only experience he had was his own childhood, which was filled to the brim with his mother's ambition - to be famous herself, to get her Vitya famous, to get his father to return to them, to finally have enough money to live above the average. He loved her, of course he did, because he only had her, Babushka and Dedushka. He knew Mama had a sister and that she had a baby, too, but it wasn't until Viktor was fourteen that he met Yuri - "It's your cousin, Vitenka, play with him, but don't get any scratches or stains". He left to the States when he was sixteen, only just figuring himself out, thinking he was finally free from the pressure he'd always felt. He was about to get famous, rich and find friends and when the money got stable, he'd get Mama a nice penthouse, _like the one we saw on TV, dear_ , and get Babushka and Dedushka to America, too. The road to success wasn't exactly the easiest and there were things he regretted (not believing in his own worth, letting his hair grow so long, cutting it off in a fit of anger, seducing much older men to get better offers, getting wasted at every possible ocasion, the list went on and on and even Chris didn't know the whole thing). The sick ambition apparently ran in the family, too, since Yuri's mother had planned for him to become a ballet dancer and nothing and no one could change her mind about that. His little cousin grew up quickly, too, and soon he left fot the States, too. By the time, Viktor has already become a legend, not having to worry about money anymore and able to help him out however he needed to. His fingers twiched, almost as if he was holding a cigarette already. He opened the terrace door, letting the cold, early spring air bring the smell of the night in. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, he stepped outside. It made him think of when he was going to quit the habit but on that he couldn't quite concentrate.

Makkachin was fast asleep and watching her breathe in and out calmly kind of made him want to try to sleep, too, but in the end he settled for changing into a nice silk Dior dress he got (along witht the whole collection) a few years ago but ended up loving and making some vegan cookies just to give his hands something to do and his mind time to wander. He suddenly remembered that he was meting his new makeup artist thr following morning and decided to get some sleep after the cookies were done. He left some on the counter, since Yuri mentioned something about waking up at six for early practice, which was only two hours from now.

After rolling around in bed for some time, he finally fell asleep around five in the morning, with his alarm clock to ring at half past eight. He'd dealt with so many emotions throughout the day that he didn't even dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from dodie's 'sick of losing soulmates'
> 
> this one was supposed to show the boys' thoughts and stories!! if youve got a question or a suggestion, talk to me:)
> 
> have a lovely day/evening!!!!!


	4. we all suckers for somethin'

The issue wasn't that Phichit had overslept - in fact, if he had, he would've felt better about the whole thing -, it was that he was kinda dying inside. He woke up at four in the morning and couldn't fall asleep for shit afterwards. As a result, he was tired, stressed and _absolutely not satisfied with how his eyeliner turned out_. Yuuri had left at half past six and he was supposed to meet Viktor Nikiforov in two hours and somehow, his confidence was fading away every minute.

 

snapchat 7:03

wing that shit like its kfc: i surely do hope ur not sleeping

whats upgamers: i'm not

whats upgamers: u having an internal crisis without me? rude

wing that shit like its kfc: shut the fuck up leo

wing that shit like its kfc: but like on point tbh im dying

wing that shit like its kfc sent a snap!

wing that shit like its kfc: look at tbhjs

whats upgamers: i have no idea what you're talking about. it's fine

wing that shit like its kfc: fhjcdkskdj

wing that shit like its kfc: i swear

wing that shit like its kfc: u know what? fuck viktor nikiforov. im taking a nap. i hope i actually fall asleep and wake up before i have to leave

 

That being said, Leo wasn't exactly helpful and since Yuuri had practice already, Phichit just shrugged, somehow found his airplane pillow (why ruin your eye makeup and get a sore neck if you can avoid both) and took a sweet, sweet nap that kind of took all the thoughts of possible failure and disappointments away. The even better thing about it was that he didn't oversleep but instead had only ten minutes to pack all he needed to have - that meant no time for thinking about any dumb shit, which was definitely a perk.

By the time he'd got into the big building (damn, Stammi Vicino really had a big HQ), it was almost nine but he technically wasn't late. He didn't even look at himself in the mirror that much and that itself was pretty impressive.

The next thirty minutes were a complete blur to him, filled with signing stuff, nodding his head and being told many things, some of which he had to write down. Finally, when the legal part of his agreement with the company was done and the whole, you know, makeup thing was to be begun, an assistant showed him the way to the Destiny Room (that was how he called it, anyway, because if he fucked up Viktor Nikiforov's makeup, his life might as well drink bleach from a sippy cup - damn, Yuuri's dry humour really was rubbing off on him).

He didn't exactly have that much experience with celebrities and he also had no expectations about the Russian, but he wasn't exactly expecting the guy to have a photo of himself and his dog on his phone case (which was pretty cool, but also pretty Extra and Phichit was anything but not Extra). The world-famous model was chilling on his chair, scrolling through Instagram, covered with an expensive-looking blanket and with an even more-expensive looking water bottle.

 

"Mr. Nikiforov, Mr. Chulanont is here," the assistant seemed to be pretty chill about the whole thing, as in Viktor not giving a damn about what was happening around him.

"I've told you already to drop the Mr. Nikiforov thing, I'm not a fossil- hi! It's nice to meet you," he smiled. It was pretty blinding, to be honest. "Fuck, marry, kill - crop tops, winged liner and coconut oil."

"Marry coconut oil, fuck winged liner and kill crop tops," Phichit replied without second thought. "Though, like, crop tops will never die, so yeah."

"He's in, Sergei, you can leave," Viktor said, quite amused with himself.

When the door closed, Phichit sat down on a chair close to the model. "Please, call me Viktor, don't make this awkward."

"Okay! So, before we even get into makeup, since the shoot's theme is winter-ish, do you have any suggestions?" It was important for Phichit not to force any of his ideas before the model even got a say in the whole thing. He genuinely seemed like a nice guy, too, he kind of wanted to befriend him.

Viktor's smile brightened. "That's new! Georgi used to just, you know, do his thing and then ask me at the end if it was okay. Sometimes I said it wasn't just to see the look on his face. Priceless, if you're asking me."

 

Phichit couldn't help but laugh a little bit. He was positively suprised with how easy-going and talkative he was.

 

"I wanna suprise them. It should be new and fresh, but not, like, basic. I don't know, silver and cold purple? I've seen your Instagram, I know you can make this really cool."

"I'll see what I can- wait, you've what?"

 

_Alright, he had died. His mortal soul had ascended into Heaven. That wasn't happening, it was just a pretty dream._

 

Viktor just shrugged. "It's really good, what can I say?"

It took him two seconds to regain his composure and he was back on track with the calm tone and everything. Man, did he have a story to tell Yuuri. "Anyways, silver and cold purple...we'll see how it turns out. Oh, before I forget - tell me something about your skin." That was his favourite part - it was amazing how little some people knew about their face and body in general. It felt like being the smart Wikipedia kid but grown up and with better fashion sense.

"Okay, it all started when I was born..."

 

It only took them eight days to exchange phone numbers (although they added each other on Snapchat after the first thirty minutes) and another six to become actual friends. It turned out Viktor Nikiforov was a funny, Extra and positive person, and he also loved dogs. Not only his dogs, just dogs in general. He had a fuck-ton of pictures of Makkachin on his phone, read Tolstoy and Hemingway and even fucking Goethe. He also, for some reason, enjoyed sparkling water, which was the biggest disappointment in Phichit's life.

He also enjoyed hearing about Yuuri, for some reason. And he also had many stories about Yuri - "his Yuri", as he said it. It was kinda shocking to hear that he and Viktor were cousins yet despite that they - Yuuri and Phichit - had never met him before.

They got along nicely, with Phichit making stupid puns and Viktor bringing vegan cookies and expensive tea sometimes. The model was amazed with the artist's ideas, the way he used basically the same cosmetics every time and the effects weren't even similar to each other, how he always urged him to speak up if something seemed off about any part of the look, how he literally made him _choke_ with setting spray. They chatted about pets, fashion, celebrities and basically anything else.

The only thing that suprised Phichit to no end was that Yuuri seemed oddly uninterested in his stories about Viktor. He wasn't rude or anything and never told him to change the topic but it was certainly weird how he couldn't bring himself to show much interest in whatever he was saying. Despite that, the Thai was a good friend and he sort of had a plan to get Viktor to meet him.

 

"You know, Yuuri told me that they're ending the season in a few weeks and that he's got tickets for the show since he's the main lead, would you maybe wanna come?" Phichit asked one day, in the middle of highlighting his collarbones.

He didn't look up but he could feel Viktor tense up ever the slightest bit. "Oh, and when's the show? Because, you know, I might be busy, so..." There was a certain nervousness in his voice, one that he kind of tried to mask up but didn't exactly do a great job. That certainly was weird. "Wait, I'll check," he reached for his phone and looked through his recent texts with Yuuri.

"The eighth's the last show." Viktor furrowed his brows for a while and wondered if he actually had something to do that day. "I think I'm free that day. I'll ask Yakov after the shoot. Wait, no, the eighth? Give me a second." He took his phone and began to type a text message.

 

text message 1:38 pm

$430 gucci sunglasses: yura!!

$430 gucci sunglasses: answer me yura this is important!!!!

i lvoe cats: fuck off

i lvoe cats: what is it tho

$430 gucci sunglasses: when's your show? the one you got me tickets for in october, i mean

i lvoe cats: may 8th

$430 gucci sunglasses: ok!! i'll be there i promise

i lvoe cats: im screenshotting this

i lvoe cats: ill kick ur ass if u dont

 

"It turns out Yura got me tickets for that one in advance. He's so nice sometimes! Thanks so much for the offer, but I'll be there anyway."

"Okay! That's so cool, it's set then!"

 

It wasn't like he was trying to get them to meet, talk, date or whatever. Not at all.

 

text message 2:10 pm

hamster boy: YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS

the prince of my heart: Probably yeah

hamster boy: you wont believe whos comin to the show

hamster boy: ; )

the prince of my heart: .......................

the prince of my heart: No

the prince of my heart: Phichit no

hamster boy: yuri invited him some time ago though

hamster boy: as much as i wish that was me, it wasnt me the

prince of my heart: Im changing the locks

the prince of my heart: Dont come back home

hamster boy: ily2 ill get some wine omw

 

The next few weeks passed by in a frenzy, with Phichit almost always busy (being Viktor Nikiforov's makeup artist helped him find some other clients, which was really nice) and Yuuri almost always stressed out. They barely paid their rent that month because they drunk-and-stress-splurged on avocados. That was a weird evening. Phichit recalled himself calling Leo and asking him to be their business partner on an avocado farm ("You know, we've got so many seeds we could plant them all and destroy the economy, Leo, are you even listening to me..."). Three days before the show, Yuuri was trying not to show the anxiety eating him from the inside, but he wasn't exactly doing the greatest job. Phichit went jogging that evening and when he got back he found him curled up on a couch with a shitty movie, probably an attempt to concentrate on something that wasn't his nerves. All he could do was talk to him and make tea, so that he did.

The day before the show, Phichit was surprised to even see Yuuri come back home at a decent hour. To be entirely honest, he thought he'd stay in the studio until the closing hour and then beg for some more time. That, however, was not the case since it only took him 8 minutes to climb into his bed and fall asleep.

 

text message 8:23 pm

kai ken: thanks for today!!! see u tomorrow at the show ;0

samoyed: thank U! yeah see you tomorrow

samoyed: also look at THAT one big fluffy dog

samoyed sent a picture!

kai ken: i m

kai ken: wait ill snap u sth Equally Important

 

snapchat 8:26 pm

black and blue sent a snap!

black and blue: look at himm

white and gold: omg

 

Of course Phichit knew that with being a famous model came perks of, like, _lots of expensive and designer clothes_ , but damn, did Viktor look hot in a custom-made, casual-but-more-expensive-than-three-years-worth-of-rent suit.

 

"We're sitting next to each other? Amazing!" He smiled and his smile could clear six highschoolers' skin and water Mesopotamia's crops. They sat down and chit-chatted about nothing important until the music started.

 

The moment Yuuri took the stage, Phichit swore he could see stars in Viktor's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) chapter name from blackbear's 'suckers'
> 
> 2) phichit and vik's usernames are cool dog breeds. check them out
> 
> 3) don't choke people with setting spray. jk do it. i love setting spray
> 
> 4) talk 2 me on my tumblr @bikiforov
> 
> 5) ive been writing this for 14 days now. please let me know if there are any typos because i cant do it anymore


	5. my heart just ain't gonna buy it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! i know its been Time but here i am with yet another chapter. i cant belive its coming to an end. dont get fooled though im still not 100% sure how the ending will be. a short one because fuck man life is hard.

Of course Viktor was aware that with being a ballet dancer came a certain grace to your whole presence (he had seen Yuuri before, he knew that he looked ethereal anyway), but he felt like what he was seeing at that moment wasn't even _real_. He felt unable to look away, captivated by his beauty. There was a hint of Yuri's style in his dancing, or rather it was the boy that based it off of him. He had seen many performances before and yet he might have never even heard of ballet since all the emotions he was experiencing were new and raw. Two hours had never passed so quickly before and he was nowhere near ready when the music came to an end and everyone around him clapped enthusiastically.

 

"He's great, isn't he?" Phichit said and the grin on his face could melt snow. He sounded so proud of his friend, so happy with his happiness, it was beautiful.

 

"Unbelievable, this was...I need to meet him." _Again._

 

"We're going out to get some drinks 'cause Yuuri wants to skip the afterparty but still get the booze, you can join us if you want to."

 

"If he's okay with it, I'm in," Viktor replied while staring at the stage for the last time before it was covered with the curtain.

 

 

It took them a while (it seemed like _everybody_ wanted to congatulate the dancers for the season and admire some of them) but at the same time it felt like seconds when the crowd was gone and Phichit was hugging the angel and Viktor's phone was buzzing.

 

 

text message 9:50 pm

i lvoe cats: sorry we didnt talk after but i had to get out

i lvoe cats: mila wanted to drag me to the afterparty

i lvoe cats: and beka said hed take me out

 

10:12 pm

$430 gucci sunglasses: it's okay i met a friend

i lvoe cats: you dont have friends

$430 gucci sunglasses: rude??

$430 gucci sunglasses: respect your elders

i lvoe cats: no

$430 gucci sunglasses: anyway

$430 gucci sunglasses: you were so good!!! you'll be the main lead next season

i lvoe cats: thx

i lvoe cats: gtg were getting bubble tea with vodka

$430 gucci sunglasses: okay!! wait

$430 gucci sunglasses: that's a terrible idea

$430 gucci sunglasses: yura.

i lvoe cats: bye lmao

 

 

By the time Viktor shoved his phone back into his pocket, Yuuri and Phichit have talked and hugged enough for the Thai to whisper 'this is your moment, you'll thank me later' and give him a _discreet_ pat on the back.

 

 

He smiled, although a bit nervously. "I told you I'd see you again, didn't I?"

 

There was a faint hint of a blush on Yuuri's cheeks. "Yeah, you did." His hair was slicked back and he still had contacts on instead of the cute blue glasses Viktor saw on the table when they first met. He wasn't obsessing over every detail, not at all.

 

 

Phichit looked like he was losing his mind and truth be told, he probably was.

 

 

"This was beautiful, I really don't know what to say. _You_ were beautiful."

 

 

Alright, now they both were kind of blushing.

 

 

"Thank you, that...that means a lot to me."

 

 

Phichit seemed amused with the situation but also kind of done with the small talk.

 

 

"We're going out, right, Yuuri? Would it be okay if Viktor went with us?"

 

"If you're okay with this...I mean, if you're not busy or anything and-"

 

"Absolutely, I'm in," Viktor smiled. as if he wasn't a nervous wreck inside.

 

 

About two hours and a few drinks in, Viktor was more than happy to learn that Yuuri was the kind of lovely, cute drunk with no mind-to-mouth filter. Phichit, on the other hand, was the no-regrets oversharer and, surprisingly, a lightweight with a tendency to mix alcohols. Viktor himself kept to shots and thanks to years of practice, he was holding his liquor well enough.

 

"Come onn, tell him about the poster an' everythin', he won't run away," Phichit managed to say an entire sentence without giggling, which was new. He was texting a friend but somehow the letters didn't seem to be cooperating.

 

"What poster? Tell me, Yuuri, I'm dying to hear this!" Viktor found himself smiling brighter than he had in a long time and it wasn't only because of the alcohol. The air of happiness that surrounded them was filling his lungs and his head, making everything spin and shine ever the slightest bit. If he was a poet, he'd immortalize that moment, keep the words somewhere so that he would never forget how _full_ it felt. He was reminded of the early years in the industry, when he and Chris were the life of the party (which one, you say? Well, every single one there was, in fact.) and people weren't quite as vulturous.

 

"I might have had a poster of one of your first shoots for, uh, seven years now? I'm your biggest fan, I read every single interview, I even bought copies so i could cut the photos out and hang them on my walls, I remember when I was thirteen..."

 

Yuuri really was drunk, but Viktor didn't mind at all. Listening to him ramble about literally anything would've been fine, but that? _Adorable. A blessing. Unforgettable._

"You're so pretty, though, you should've become a model, too," he accidentally said out loud. He was resting his head on his chin and staring at the gleam in his eyes and accidentally vocalized what had been going on inside his head for some time now.

 

Yuuri's already flushed face turned bright red. "You must be joking, I'm not that...I don't even know. I'm just..."

 

"A literal angel? Yes, definitely," Viktor replied.

 

 

Apparently, that was enough to get Yuuri to sober up a bit.

 

 

"I...I need to catch a breath. Outside." He got up and left their table, leaving Viktor very confused and not at all okay with the situation. He waited for a few minutes until his patience and nerves could take no more. Had he said something wrong?

 

"Phichit, I'm going outside, okay? I'll be back, don't go anywhere," he said to Phichit, who was very busy playing Neko Atsume and murmuring to himself. Yeah, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

 

 

Yuuri was standing outside, leaning on the wall and concentrating on breathing. He still was tipsy, of course, but the surprisingly cold May air helped clear his head a little bit. What was he doing? The entire evening felt unrealistically good, hearing Viktor's happy voice and seeing his eyes on him, making the world turn a few seconds faster. He did say they would meet again, but it seemed too surreal. Truth be told, he didn't have the strength to deal with Phichit's ramblings about the model because they only made him back to their meeting and the confusion that shook his little, balanced world. He had never liked surprises, even if they came in the form of a beautiful Russian man.

 

 

"Is everything alright?" Viktor said hesitantly.

 

"You didn't have to come."

 

 

He didn't mean to sound cold, it was a solid fact.

 

 

"I was worried, I'm sory if I-"

 

"No, no, I mean come here. With us. You probably had better things to do."

 

"Not really. Plus, I enjoy your company. I really wanted to see you again."

 

"If you say so."

 

"Why wouldn't you believe that? I'd gain literally nothing from lying to you. I wanted to get to know you better and spend more time with you, so here I am." Try as he might, there was a slight hint of irritation in his voice.

 

"I'm sorry, I just...Why would you?" Yuuri looked down.

 

"Because I want to. Because you're beautiful, talented and funny."

 

 

He was standing closer to him now, enough to for Yuuri to feel his warmth.

 

 

"This is so unreal, you, standing here, just like this..."

 

 

Viktor's hand touched his cheek, gentle and surprisingly soft. His eyes were so bright as if there was a thousand stars inside them. There were people passing by around them, but they could hardly bring themselves to care. Yuuri wanted to add something, but couldn't find the right words and instead brought Viktor's lips to his.

 

With his arm around Yuuri's waist and his mouth captured in a sweet, slow kiss, Viktor really felt alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) some people??? play neko atsume??? to cope???
> 
> 2) **comments & any kind of feedback really are v appreciated. luv yall**
> 
> 3) hmu on my tumblr [bikiforov](https://bikiforov.tumblr.com) for sneak peeks and maybe memes
> 
> 4) ch title from frank sinatra's 'that's life'


	6. your love was handmade for somebody like me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's finally come to an end..........i cannot believe it's over. it took me many hours of frustration and laughter and straight-out-stress to finish it and here we are. i cannot express how grateful i am for every single comment and kudo and hit. you guys were so supportive of this piece!! **thank u thank u thank u.**

Viktor could feel the alcohol on both his and Yuuri's breath, but it didn't stop him from deepening the kiss and holding onto him. The other man's warmth beneath Viktor's hands was exactly what he needed and, judging by Yuuri's eagerness, what the dancer needed, too.

 

Yuuri broke the kiss after some time, gasping for air, his eyes not leaving Viktor's.

 

 

"Let's, ah, take things a little bit slower from now on, okay? I don't even have your phone number," he said with a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

 

Viktor couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, I don't mind that at all. Wanna make sure I'm the real me, huh?"

 

"No, just...making sure I don't have to contact you through Phichit. He'd never let me live that down."

 

"We probably should get back, make sure he's okay. He was pretty drunk the last time I checked."

 

"Yeah, you're probably right."

 

 

Yuuri smiled and leaned into one last kiss. It felt warm and almost like a sweet promise of something good.

 

Upon the first sign, they knew Phichit was gone to the world. Yuuri decided to take a cab to their apartment and then decide what to do with the poor guy. It certainly wasn't the first time Viktor had to take care of a drunk person (Chris always said that an alcohol tolerance is only built through practice), but it was the first time he had such a charming man by his side to assist him. He enjoyed making out with Yuuri the entire ride while also making sure Phichit was okay (he fell asleep).

 

 

"Wake up, honey, we're home, you need to get to your bed. Come on, it's easy, I'll help you, okay?"

 

 

Proof number...well, surely it was a big number by now, Viktor gave up on counting, that Yuuri Katsuki is a literal angel. The warm lamplight illuminated his face and now he understood the half-disappointed, half-irritated face Otabek made when Yuri was doing something and there was this little smile on his face but the Kazakh didn't have a camera with him. He was once again struck by his beauty and grace, even when he was only carrying his drunk friend.

 

When Phichit was fast asleep in his room, Viktor and Yuuri sat down in the living room for some coffee and were both struck by a feeling of a _deja vu_.

 

 

"So, Yuuri, would you mind telling me something about yourself?", Viktor said with a chuckle, thinking back on the day - evening? night? - they met. The other man laughed, too.

 

"I'd rather you told me something about youself, Viktor."

 

"What is there to say? There's everything about me everywhere." He didn't say it to brag about himself, no, quite the opposite. There was a bit of sadness in it that had probably come with the lack of privacy.

 

"Tell me something I wouldn't find anywhere, then."

 

 

Viktor didn't know what to say. Chris knew him through and through and so did Yuri, he never had to think about this sort of things. Before "personal" interviews, he'd always been told how to act, what kind of person to present to the audience. But Yuuri wasn't the audience, he wasn't a reporter fascinated by Viktor's fame and the rumors he raised. He wanted him for being himself, Viktor the normal person, not Viktor the celebrity. The thing was, Viktor didn't know who he was. It dawned on him in that exact moment and suddenly, all the joy from throughout the evening went away and he felt a sharp tug on his chest.

 

Yuuri seemed to have noticed that something wasn't alright and he put his hand on Viktor's arm.

 

 

"Did I say something wrong?", he asked, concern obvious in his tone.

 

 

Viktor tried to take a deep breath and settled for just taking one in general since his lungs started to feel way too tight. "Everything's okay, I'm sorry." He just smiled and tried his best not to think about anything negative. "I honestly don't know what to say...oh, my favourite colour is this, like, pink purple, like the..."

 

 

"Like the suit you wore during Paris Fashion Week two years ago and then the Met Gala? What? Don't stare at me like this, Phichit did tell you I'm your fan," Yuuri replied shamelessly.

 

 

Viktor hadn't expected that at all and the laugh he let out helped ease some of the tension on his chest. "Yes, that's the one. I still have it somewhere, maybe I should wear it again. What else...I hate kale with a passion. I can't stand it and I don't know why. I've never broken anything in my life."

 

 

"Really? I've twisted a muscle in my leg once, not long before coming here. Everyone who wants to dance with the company has to prove themselves, so we choreograph a piece and them perform it in front of Madama Baranovskaya. It hurt like hell and didn't stop for a few weeks, I remember to this day."

 

"What did you do?

 

"Obviously, I performed the whole thing and then apologised and explained why it wasn't my best one."

 

"But...couldn't you reschedule it? It must've hurt to perform like that..."

 

"There would be no second chance. Either I'd come and deliver something or not even get on the plane."

 

 

They talked a lot that evening, staying up much later tan they'd both anticipated. It was almost half past two when Viktor was home again, He texted Yuuri he was alive (he did get his number) and thanked him for the evening.

 

 

skype 3:02 am

vitas: i had so much fun

vitas: hes so nice aa

vitas: we kissed

vitas: im gonna fuck this up but i dont want to

vitas: he asked me to tell him something he wouldnt read about on the internet and i was like

vitas: i dont know

vitas: i fucking hate this

5:43 am

ass man: who invented waking up early

ass man: did you sleep?

vitas: obviously i didnt

ass man: how are you now

vitas: still bad

vitas: hes so good and im just an asshole i dont wanna ruin it

ass man: you're not an asshole

ass man: okay a bit maybe

ass man: but you won't ruin this

vitas: whatever im just tired

vitas: ive got an interview thing at 1 pm i should get some sleep

ass man: take care of yourself

ass man: how was the kissing though

vitas: dear lord

vitas: literally the greatest

vitas: best experience of my life

vitas: better than the paris guy

ass man: no way

vitas: i just know right

 

 

As weeks went by, Viktor and Yuuri met up from time to time, sometimes more often, sometimes not. Slowly, they got to know each other better and better. It felt good, like taking a break from all the stres even if only for a short time. They'd just laugh at each other's jokes, exchange stories about their days or just play Twenty Questions. There were kisses, too, many of them, in fact, sometimes short and sweet, sometimes lingering and desperate. However, as Yuuri had said, they decided to take things slow and there was nothing more. Viktor came to learn that he'd had his fair share of shitty relationships and didn't want to pressure things, which he obviously accepted and didn't mind at all. He was smitten by the dancer, the way his eyes lit up when he spoke about something he loved, the way his hair looked slicked back or messy and unbrushed, the way he moved, full of grace and pride. Viktor found himself falling deeper for Katsuki everytime he looked at him and noticed another detail he had no idea about before. Their witty conversations and hours-long text exchanges made him smile even if it wasn't necessarily jokes all the time.

 

Chris noticed the change in Viktor's behaviour, too, and didn't hide his approval for 'whatever it is that the two of you have'. They spent more time together, planning his wedding. It took them many hours to get anything through, though, since there were so many ideas and possibilties to consider and September was creeping by closer and closer. In the end, when everything that could be planned was already planned, ordered or probably done, came the discussion Viktor had been dreading.

 

 

"You're bringing Yuuri as your plus one, right?", Chris said, midlessly scrolling through Pinterest and ocasionally sighing.

 

"I don't know, haven't thought about it." _Oh, he had, for a very long time_.

 

"Don't think about it, just ask him."

 

"That's not how life works, Chris."

 

" _That's exactly how life works_. Ask him or else you're gonna regret it."

 

"I can't believe you've grown so much," Viktor wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Nevertheless, I won't."

 

"I'm two years younger, not your _child_ ," Chris snorted. "Come on, you like him, he likes you, nothing is stopping you."

 

"Hypothetically, yes. But I can't just- we're not dating or anything."

 

"Well, you should be."

 

 

It might have taken them an awkward phone conversation and a less-awkward-but still-awkward not-date at Viktor's, but it didn't matter at all when Yuuri agreed to go to the wedding as Viktor's plus-one. The Russian smiled brighter than ever and pressed a quick kiss against his lips that quickly turned into something more, Yuuri's hands in Viktor's hair and his warm breath against his exposed neck.

 

 

"I don't think I've got a proper enough suit, I don't wanna embarass you," Yuuri whispered when the movie they'd pretended to be watching was finally over. His hair was a mess and there was a long line of bruises along his neck and collarbones, but his head was spinning and he felt light and happy.

 

"Then I'll buy you one. I'll buy you ten, I don't care," Viktor laughed, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his cheek.

 

 

He ended up buying one, but it was fancy enough for his eyes to glisten for hours. Viktor was pretty sure there would be no one to outshine his beautiful angel and the thought that he could call him that out loud mattered more than he cared to admit.

 

 

text message 4:35 pm

yuuri <3: I just talked to Chris as u told me to

VIKTOR: and!!!! how did it go!!!!

yuuri <3: You surely didn't tell me it's gonna be in SWITZERLAND

VIKTOR: oh yeah might have missed that

yuuri <3: VIKTOR SWITZERLAND IS VERY FAR AWAY

yuuri <3: LIKE, A VERY EXPENSIVE PLANE TICKET FAR AWAY

VIKTOR: yes it is

VIKTOR: i already bought tickets and booked a hotel, don't worry

yuuri <3: Oh my god

yuuri <3: This is too much??? I could have at least paid for my own ticket??

VIKTOR: come on!! let me spoil u!!!!

yuuri <3: You're too good I swear

VIKTOR: noo youre too good for agreeing to go with me <3

 

 

It quickly became known to Yuuri that what was supposed to be a maybe-two-days-trip was actually a five-days-long trip. Not that he minded spending so much time with Viktor, of course, it was amazing to see the man from the other side he didn't quite show to the media, but then again, it was five days with Viktor and it made him nervous. Christophe was absolutely one of the nicest people he'd ever talked to, though, incredibly kind and funny, too. His husband-to-be must've got very lucky to have him.

 

The last time Viktor flew over the pond, he was sad and bored with his life. Everything had become a blur, one thing after another, a smile after a frown after a worried-but-still-attractive expression, one outfit after a slightly different but still the same one. Everything was predictable and irritating. Everyone around him (except for maybe a few people, but he wasn't sure how many) was trying to please him, to get on his best side hoping for something. He felt numb and split open, vulnerable yet unwilling to fight back.

 

The last time Yuuri flew over the pond, he was young and hopeful and lost. His heart hurt from the fear of failure and his body hurt from the stress and pressure. His family was supportive of him, but apart from that he was alone, only his thoughts for company. The fear tugged at him whenever he went, reminding him how much was still to come, hoq much he had to learn and how far he could go if he only did _this and that and a thousand other_ _things_.

 

That time flying over the pond, Viktor realised he hadn't healed at all. Everything was still there, but somehow with somebody next to him, he could bear with it. There was finally something worth holding onto, somebody to kiss and (hopefully) wake up next to. They had all the time in the world and he couldn't wait to finally get off that plane and go sightseeing with the man he had fallen for along the way.

 

That time flying over the pond, Yuuri was at peace. There was a hand in his hand and a smile for every one of his smiles. It wasn't love that healed him, not at all, he had done all of that himself. He was willing to do it for Viktor, help him heal and look at him like he was art come to life and hold him until he breathed again. There was a great ocean underneath him, a sky above him and a beautiful man right next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **thank u.**

**Author's Note:**

> updates will come p regularly i hope ; ;
> 
> series name from gotye's 'hearts a mess'  
> work name from jessie ware's 'wildest moments'  
> hmu on my tumblr @bikiforov


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